Personal relationships, both professional and personal plays an important role in all cultures and Japan is no exception to that rule.

Although most countries regard relationships as important there are many differences between cultures as to how relationships are wived and in relation to that how communication between people are seen upon. Japanese culture, generally speaking, encourages closeness and dependability whereas most western cultures encourage individuality and independence. This can also be seen in the Japanese language which is implicit compared to most western countries where explicit (clear) communication is sought. Cultural understanding and sensitivity is a must if you have a relationship with someone from another culture or often meet people from another culture.

Contents 1 Finding a soul mate 2 Making friends 3 Dating in Japan 4 What to do on special days 5 Couple counseling 6 Forums 7 Links

Finding a soul mate

Finding a soul mate is hard no matter where you live but living in a foreign country can make it even harder to find that special someone. One of the more convenient and perhaps also easiest ways of making contacts is through networks on the internet such as GaijinPot Personals.

In Japan, with its history of arranged marriages, there are also a number of sites that focus on marriage matchmaking.

Making friends

If you are new to Japan making friends is probably one of your top priorities. If you are looking to make international friends there are a number of forums that target the foreign community. If you want make friends with people from your home country who also live abroad there are many associations and groups where you can meet new friends. Japanese tie of friendship is usually established when going to school/university together. New friends are often made by involvement in groups such as colleges of the same company, hobby activities or residential groups. If you are interested in making Japanese friends probably one of the most easiest and convenient ways is to become a member of one of the friends network sites such as the GaijinPot Personals.

Dating in Japan

Dating in Japan can for people from other countries be somewhat different especially when it comes to communication and the expression of feelings. In Western countries clear and direct communication is normally encouraged and seen as positive (although sometimes difficult). The Japanese culture and language is implicit and in-direct which means that people will seldom be clear about their intentions or wishes and feelings. In this indirect approach sensitivity to other peoples needs and wishes is highly valued and encouraged. Explicitly expressing your needs or wishes can therefore be seen as selfish. The indirect approach can be very challenging for those not accustomed to it as well as being a source to misunderstandings.

What to do on special days

There are a number of special days to remember when it comes to relationships, birthdays and anniversaries being the more obvious ones. But then there's also the more general celebrated days such as Valentine's day. Many countries celebrate Valentine's day February 14th and Japan is no exception. Valentine's day in Japan however is a day where women are suppose to give small gifts, normally chocolate, to men. Men normally do not give any gifts on Valentine's day but will instead give women presents (normally chocolate or cakes) on White day, March 14.

Couple counseling

All relationships can suffer periods where things are tougher. Life events, both personal and professional, can strain any relationship. To add on to the common ups and downs in life moving to a new country or having a cross-culture relationship can put extra stress on a relationship. Even if many things can be sort out together with your partner alone there can come times when you might feel the need to seek help outside the two of you. Turning to a couples counselor could then be a a good alternative. TELL (http://www.telljp.com) is a fully accredited Samaritan Institute Center. Therapists work with children, families, couples, and individuals and services are offered in English, Japanese, German, Portuguese and Spanish. Tokyo Counseling Services (http://tokyocounseling.com/english/) provides individual counseling, couples counseling, marriage counseling and family counseling psychotherapy services. Counseling and therapy services are available in English, French, German, Korean, Japanese and Portuguese. (http://www.imhpj.org/), has a member list of counselors living in Japan who offer couple counseling, as well individual counseling. Many languages are represented among the members but only one or two of the non-Japanese members can speak and work in Japanese. Most of them offer couples and marriage counseling on a flexible fee scale and some of these services and counselors are more expensive than others, particularly those that mainly cater to wealthier expatriates, so it is better to check their websites for fees and call in person before deciding on the right couples counselor for you.

Forums

Questions and/or comments? Go to the Relationships Forum.

Links

• Fukuoka Live | http://www.fukuokalive.com:81/fukuoka/index.asp Free, English Chat Website in Fukuoka Japan.
• Tokyo Friends| http://www.tokyofriends.com/ International Parties in Tokyo, BBS, Japanese pen pals.
• Picking Up Japanese Girls | http://www.geocities.com/allaboutjapan/japanesedatinglanguage Lingo and advice.
• Not a breeder? The creme de la creme of gay sites is jguysusguy | http://jguyusguy.org/ or if you can read Japanese, Gay Japan | http://www.gayjapan.com/ or Gay Life Japan | http://gaylife.co.jp/.
• Out Japan | Online community space for Japanese and international women who love women.